In the average family home, kids grow up with access to a wide range of devices and digital tools. In the UK, for example, the average home with kids has access to at least 15 different internet-enabled devices, from iPads to laptops, to a parent’s phone, or the Echo Dot on the counter. For kids now, technology is ever-present, and will accompany them at every stage of their lives: in education, as a form of entertainment, in their social lives, and looking into the future, at work.

Considering this, it’s important for families to talk about – and demonstrate – healthy, responsible tech use from a young age. One way to navigate digital rules and establish positive relationships with technology is by creating a family contract, better described as technology guidelines, or a family tech agreement. This can act as a springboard for productive conversations and offer guidelines that everyone feels comfortable following. 

Why is a family technology contract important?

Talking about tech use in a mindful, responsible, and respectful way is part of the process for any parent. However, for any agreement to be effective, lasting, and conflict-free, the approach we take is key. For a family tech contract, or better yet, agreement to be successful, we need to take the focus off setting rules (which, as the saying goes, are made to be broken), and shift it towards creating an open, constructive dialogue, which helps all family members use technology in a healthy way. 

To get you started, Qustodio offers two free downloadable digital agreements, which can set up a workshop session you can regularly revisit as a family. The family agreements – one for younger kids, and one for teens and tweens – are a useful resource for families looking to get started with the process. Download the appropriate agreement for your family below. 

How to get started with your family technology contract

First, you’ll want to create a positive, welcoming environment, where everyone feels comfortable sharing. Choose a stress-free moment, such as a weekend where there are no plans, to set the conversation up. You can help create a relaxed, laid-back setting by combining other elements that remove the “serious family discussion” element, such as a picnic, or as you enjoy an afternoon snack together. 

Once you’ve decided on the perfect opportunity, think of an activity you can do together – one that’s age-appropriate, and tech-related. This serves as an icebreaker and will get them motivated for the conversation. For example, you could play a video game together, or explore a new app that allows you to get creative with them. You could even show them what digital wellbeing tools or parental monitoring look like, how they work, and how they can be used to promote healthier digital habits. This can help set up a productive conversation, where kids can see that these tools aren’t being used to control, but rather to protect. This focus shift from control to collaboration encourages them to participate, and brings a more positive angle to the conversation.

Inclusion: the secret to success

Now you’ve grabbed your kids’ attention, the next part of the process is key: involving them. Establishing rules and boundaries shouldn’t be a one or two-person show, but a process where we listen to our kids’ input and take their needs into account, even if what they think doesn’t match up with your point of view or the risks you know are real.

To avoid the conversation being hyper-focused on setting rules and limits that restrict your kids, encourage them to share positive experiences they’ve had, along with apps and games they like. They should feel comfortable sharing what they enjoy and what they don’t, so that the rules and ideas you discuss can be put in place to help them enjoy the good sides, while reducing negative experiences. Sharing worries and negative situations in a family space can also serve as an environment where you offer guidance, giving kids advice on how to face them and what they should do if they encounter risk online. 

Now you’re all ready to begin, here are some tips to help guide the conversation and keep it productive:

1. Share your own experiences

Sometimes your kids won’t be willing to share, or might not be able to think of a situation – either positive or negative – that they want to talk about. In this case, you can act as the example, sharing your own experiences first, again not only focusing on negative aspects of technology, but sharing the things you love and the ways it helps you. By sharing only the bad, your kids might think you have an outdated view of technology, or that you simply want to restrict how they access the digital world, which might not encourage them to share as openly. 

2. Practice “active listening” 

It’s a good idea to repeat what your kids say throughout the conversation, to reflect their thoughts back, show interest in the different points they might raise, and try to avoid interrupting them or criticizing the way they think. On the other hand, as parents, we shouldn’t be afraid to share our thoughts with our kids, to create an environment where everyone feels they can share and their views are worth listening to. We have to be able to exchange opinions freely, even when they’re different.

3. Take turns suggesting ideas

To create a balanced and fair digital agreement, where everyone feels included, try having each family member suggest their own rule or guideline. Debate the proposed rules and come to a consensus about which ones you’d like to include, and which ones you’d prefer to leave out. This will help you come up with rules that are clear, specific, and above all, achievable. It also lets kids and teens feel a sense of responsibility, and that they have control over their digital life.

4. Make an initial list of ideas

Even though we want our kids to feel included and participate, it’s important for the adults involved to have a general idea of what your family wants to achieve with the agreement, so it aligns with priorities and beliefs. Before the discussion, lay out a few rules that you would like to see in the agreement, taking your kids’ ages and personalities into account. 

What kind of rules can we include in our family’s agreement?

Not all tech use is equal, and the digital challenges that kids face differ across age groups. Here are some rule suggestions that you could use, depending on your child’s age: 

Sample tech rules for under 8s

• A limit of 1 hour of personal screen time per day (e.g. games, videos, and activities outside homework or school work)
• Devices must be used in spaces with an adult present
• Ask for permission before using a device
• Ask for permission before downloading a new app or game
• Don’t share any personal information

Sample tech rules for tweens

• Don’t use devices at the dinner table, or when we have family plans
• Switch devices off before bed
• Make a note of trusted adults you can turn to for support, or who you can go to when you see something that makes you feel uncomfortable

Sample tech rules for teens

• Respect other people’s privacy (avoid sharing pictures of minors and get consent before sharing friends and family)
• Keep social media profiles private
• Dedicate time to offline activities and hobbies
• Promote critical thinking surrounding online content

During the conversation, work to guide your kids, letting them feel they can suggest and implement rules, while also ensuring the rules and boundaries you think are important are included.

Adapting your family tech contract as time goes by

The rules shouldn’t be set in stone, and as your kids get older, their technology needs change – so your digital agreement must reflect this, too. In families where there are kids of different ages, you’ll want to create rules that allow younger kids to understand what’s expected of them when they get older, and help them realize that rules can’t always be “one size fits all”. You can break your rule sets down into different age groups to make it easier to understand: 

• For kids under 8, it’s important to focus on basic rules that promote digital health and wellbeing, such as limiting screen time, talking about the possibility of inappropriate content, and setting up restrictions to help them avoid it, while also promoting offline activities and shared family experiences.
• For tweens, even though they may not be using social media, they’ll certainly be aware of it – which should be reflected in the agreement: tweens should know what online privacy is, what happens to videos and photos once they’re uploaded to social media or the internet, how to be respectful and communicate online, how to recognize inappropriate behavior and red flags (especially from strangers), how to identify bullying behavior, and how to be kind to others in the digital world. 
• For teens, it’s important to keep working on the same guidelines set out for tweens, promoting healthy online behavior, digital ethics, respect towards other people, moderating screen time and promoting balanced use, and teaching them how to reflect on and question content they encounter online. 

With this in mind, you can use the two digital agreement templates Qustodio offers, one designed for under-8s, and the other for tweens and teens, to help families steer the conversation towards age-appropriate rules and guidelines. 

You’ll also want to consider when to review your rules – for example, every 3 months, just before school vacation, before starting the new year, or when you’ve had a digital setback and need to take a new approach. Another key moment to review your digital agreement is when giving your child a new device: a video console, an iPad, and especially a smartphone. The existing digital agreement can work as a great base to add new rules and have deeper conversations about the digital world. 

Finding digital balance together

As a family, talk about the risks and benefits technology can pose. Ask your kids to share what they know, what their beliefs are, and talk about their experiences, so you can do the same. Listen to them, and share your knowledge of the digital world and online safety. While you’re bringing years of experience to the table, they might also share things that you weren’t aware of, making the conversation something everyone can learn from. Using these shared experiences and collective knowledge, you can set rules that everyone understands and respects. 

Healthy boundaries allow everyone to find balance with technology, protecting the youngest members of the family, and making them aware of both the risks and benefits. 

The benefits you can highlight include: 

• Access to information
• Creativity and skill development
• Connection with friends and family from far and wide
• Access to new opportunities and knowledge

On the flip side, we can’t tiptoe around the risks that the online world poses, and kids should be made aware of them (in age-appropriate ways) as they grow with devices. These points can help you discuss what they need to know of the risks: 

Helping our children navigate the digital world is now an essential part of parenting: devices and technology play a huge role in our children’s lives – and our own – meaning it’s more important than ever for families to approach tech use with care and intention. A digital agreement is a great way to start these conversations, helping families set clear expectations, while also keeping the dialogue open and positive. This way, we can work towards a shared understanding of healthy technology use and what it actually means – promoting collaboration over control. 

What makes these agreements truly valuable is their flexibility. As kids grow, and technology continues to evolve, regularly revisiting your family agreement keeps it relevant and meaningful. More than just setting limits, these conversations help strengthen family bonds, encourage open communication, and give kids the tools they need to become thoughtful, responsible digital citizens. Together, families can build a safe, supportive space both on and offline, for everyone to enjoy the digital world with confidence.

It can be difficult to know when the time is right to switch off the electronics before heading off to bed. Children and parents alike are finding it more and more of a task to disconnect at the end of the day, struggling to create a bedtime routine that isn’t interrupted by the pings of social media or the latest update from grandma in the family group chat. Here’s how your family, from its littlest to its largest, can learn how to reduce screen time before bed, get better quality sleep, and improve everyone’s digital wellbeing.

Does screen time before bed affect sleep?

Your body has its own internal clock, controlled by the release of hormones. These hormones help tell your body when it’s time to go to sleep. The hormone cortisol is produced during the day, while the hormone which is naturally released at night, melatonin, comes into play when it starts to get dark. 

Screens such as those on smartphones, laptops, and TV sets emit something called blue light. Blue light has been shown to interfere with your body’s natural melatonin production, shutting off the “sleepy” signals it sends to your brain before bed. This exposure makes it harder for you to settle at night, keeping you awake for longer than you should be.

How long before bed should you turn off screens?

There are no specific guidelines surrounding the ideal time to turn off screens before bed, but giving your mind and body a significant rest period away from the distractions of technology is the goal. Aim to create a bedtime routine which is completely screen-free from start to finish – at least 30 minutes in length. The UK’s National Health Service recommends not letting children look at screens 30-60 minutes before going to sleep, as part of a healthy bedtime routine.

How to help young children reduce screen time before bed

Many families enjoy settling down to watch a good movie, or their favorite series in the evening. Once movie night’s over, though, try to give your family some space and time to relax before it’s the moment to hit the hay. If you have a regular bedtime for your kids, agree on a time that you as a family should turn the TV off for the night. If you’re in for a one-off movie session, start earlier than you normally would so you can ensure that precious hour of screen-free wind down starts after the credits roll.

Using a screen time tool is a great way to keep your family focused on daily routines. Qustodio allows you to create a screen time schedule for your children, where hours in the day are blocked out – for example, from 9pm to 10pm. During this time, they won’t be able to engage with their connected devices. For the path of least resistance, you could even make this a rule for the whole family, putting away your own devices and concentrating on family time together before bed. 

3. Create new bedtime rituals and habits

If you’re introducing a “no screen time before bed” rule, you may want to consider trying new activities that help you bond as a family and which allow your kids to wind down before they nod off. Reading a story together, writing a journal entry, or relaxing with a guided meditation or yoga session could be an excellent way of signaling it’s time to rest. These wind-down activities could then serve as excellent relaxation tools for your kids as they grow and become more independent.

Reducing screen time before bed for teenagers

In a survey run by the National Sleep Foundation, 96% of teenagers between the ages of 15 and 17 observed that they brought some kind of technology into their bedroom. The survey concluded that a deficiency in sleep was more likely to be present when both parents and children had electronic devices on in their bedrooms past bedtime.

When it comes to teenagers, setting limits for screen time before bed may seem more challenging, but there are several things you can do to help keep device usage minimal and encourage your child to develop healthier sleep habits. 

If your teenager is a serial scroller during those early morning hours, one option could be to create a device-free environment. Keep TVs, tablets, cell phones and even laptops out of their sleeping space – either round the clock, or past a certain time in the day if they prefer to do schoolwork in their room. Even if your child has a limit on screen time in the evenings, the simple fact that their cell phone or laptop is with them in the room adds the extra temptation to reach for it if they wake up during the night.

It’s a good idea to explain the reasons behind why screen time at night is a concern, rather than simply imposing new rules “for their own good”. Help your teenager understand the science behind how technology use affects their sleep, and why you care about it. Instead of just setting a rule, talk to your teenager regularly about how their device use makes them feel. 

Asking them questions such as “When you stay up and scroll on your phone at night, how does it affect you the next day?”, or “How does it make you feel if you’re without your phone for several hours?” could encourage them to be more mindful of their device usage and the consequences of their technology habits.

Screen time isn’t just limited to the bedroom. Maybe your teenager doesn’t have a structured or set bedtime routine (if you can, it’s a good idea to encourage them to have one), but it’s recommended to limit device usage in the hours before bedtime, wherever they are in the house. This will reduce their exposure to blue light and help signal that it’s time to wind down for the night. 

For an easy way to set screen time limits that the whole family can follow, try a parental control tool that restricts device usage during certain times of day. By using a tool that applies the same rules daily, you can forget about looking at the clock or accidentally allowing your child to run over their limit – this can all be taken care of in the background! 

No matter your child’s age, you’re often the example for model behavior, so it’s a good idea for your entire family to become more mindful of how you use devices before bed. If you’re blocking screen time on your child’s devices before they go to bed, set your own phone or laptop down during that time, so they see how you engage in healthy screen time habits yourself. Turn the TV off after a certain time each day, and leave your cell phone out of the bedroom – whatever helps your teenager recognize the effort you’re putting in as a family to reduce screen time before bed, and enjoy better quality sleep. 

Tips for the whole family to get better sleep

By practicing good sleep hygiene, you’ll find it much easier to fall asleep…and stay asleep! Here are some easy ways your family can prioritize sleep and improve sleep quality:

• Set a regular bedtime routine for your kids. By going to bed at roughly the same time every day, and by following a more structured routine, they know what to expect and will (hopefully) fall asleep more easily. 
• Regularly spend time outdoors in natural light. This will encourage them to feel more alert during the day, and sleepier at night.
• Avoid nap times, except in very young children. If your child no longer needs a specified nap time, encourage them to avoid napping during the day so their bodily clock isn’t affected by midday sleeping.
• Get moving! Regular physical activity and exercise helps improve mood, stress, and increases the chances of getting a good night’s sleep.